Women who resent men will only make men resent them as well.
As a woman who’s been on the receiving end of abuse (as most of us have), I understand the feeling of resentment towards men, or towards our abuser.
As a woman who’s been on the receiving end of many insults and bullying from men and women alike….
As a person who knows what it feels like to be used, abused and treated like a pet by a sociopath…for more than 20 years (although that wasn’t by a romantic partner), I respect the value of anger towards the people who have wronged us.
The anger has a purpose for your soul and mine.
So, do talk about your pain. Process your pain.
Process your GUILT from hurting men and causing them pain too.
Key Takeaways
- Acting from resentment inspires men to resent you too
- We’ll discover the real reasons why you feel resentment (and you need to be honest with yourself about which reason applies to you) as nobody else will be
- Processing being wronged is healthy and the antidote to resentment
- Gratitude for your experiences and what you’ve learned from them helps you heal resentment
In this article, I’ll help you overcome your resentment and give it a new meaning. But first, let’s answer the common question of WHY your resentment exists…
Why Do I Have Resentment Towards Him?
There are several important reasons. You’ll have to decide which is most relevant to your situation. Remember: be honest with yourself.
Nobody else is going to care enough to have your back, and the more honest you can be with yourself, the more you can help yourself.
- Because resentment is the easiest response to have.
- Because you’re entitled and feel like he owes you something.
- Because you were expecting him to be different.
- Because you’ve put up with toxic treatment for too long and are just now adjusting to how he’s taken advantage of you.
- Because you never prioritized understanding. You’re always looking for what you want over leading with your understanding.
- Because you’ve gone to resentment so many times that it’s simply become a pattern of behavior. The good news it that this pattern can be replaced with a new one.
We Have ALL Been Burned
Everyone has abused and been abused.
Everyone has suffered in love and dating. Everyone has been burned.
I have hurt my lover and I have been hurt.
But resentment and mud-slinging is not all I am.
I am human and I am capable of resentment as well as love and compassion.
I am capable of objective appreciation and understanding of men, the very species (of which a few) made me feel like I was not enough at times.
Many women I talk to and who read my work are quite thoughtful. But I sense that some of us are still suffering.
That suffering sometimes comes out in the form of resentful comments towards men.
That suffering sometimes comes out towards other members in our Facebook group, and yes, towards myself and David at times.
That’s OK. I didn’t sign up for this because it’s easy.
And I’ve been doing this a long time, so there’s close to nothing I haven’t seen.
But if you are suffering, here’s what is important right now:
I believe it’s more important to take responsibility for your feelings, for your past, your choices and for your future.
Take responsibility for where you are now, and what you feel.
When Women Resent Men, Men Resent Women
Here’s what I know in my soul:
If we as women go out into the dating world and show up with resentment or entitlement (they go hand in hand), here’s what will happen:
MEN will also become more resentful and entitled.
Nobody wins if nobody has the courage to take responsibility.
Our gender doesn’t determine our entitlements.
And there’s nothing like a courageous woman, full of love and value to inspire men to be better.
It’s not our past that determines how we’re entitled to act towards people now.
So, can we stand up, dust ourselves off and take back our innocence now?
Do the quiz: What is my attachment style?
Take Back Your LOVE For Men
Take back your innate love for men, and your joy for connecting with men.
You have everything you need within you to do that now.
After all, you’re a woman. And you have more power than you know.
Take responsibility for approaching dating men with a sense of understanding, curiosity and playfulness.
If you have suffering, ok.
Grieve. And grieve now.
The more resentment you allow to build up, the more resentment you’ll bring into your own life.
And you’ll see doom and gloom everywhere because you’re looking for it.
Don’t Punish A Whole Species Of Men, Just Because A Few Have Wronged You
Don’t punish a whole species of men, because they might just make you feel punished in return.
It’s reciprocal.
Resentment begets resentment.
Appreciation begets appreciation.
You don’t get better at vetting the low value men by thinking from fear or taking more actions from fear.
(Of course your fear is very useful when it’s useful, but most of the time, it’s not useful).
And you don’t get better at vetting men by being resentful.
You get better at vetting them by becoming better yourself first.
That’s because we can only tolerate those who are like us; those who vibrate at the same level.
It is only when you are better (more resourceful) yourself, that you can choose better.
As that age old saying goes…
”Be the change you want to see in the world.”
P.S. Connect with me on social media
Our new Facebook Group is here… Join the “High Value Feminine Women” Community using this link
P.P.S. Here are 7 Common Signs A Woman is Low Value in the Eyes of Men.
Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. She graduated with a bachelor of Law and bachelor of Arts majoring in sociology and psychology. She has been a dating and relationship coach for women in the past 15 years and together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 20 million women through their articles and videos as well as 10’s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.
Connect deeper with her work through the social media links below.