How do you trust again after betrayal? Listen to this episode of Last First Date Radio and hear me coach a woman after a breakup.
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Karen is a fifty-nine year old divorced woman who wants to know how to trust again after betrayal. She was in a four-year passionate relationship that recently ended when he decided he wanted to work away six months of the year. They got back together briefly earlier this year, but the feelings were gone. He also revealed that he slept with an ex and had lied about it, so the trust was also broken.
Six months have passed, and she feels ready to date again. She’s on a few apps and finding there are very few men she finds attractive in her age range. She wants to know where to find her last first date. Listen to the podcast to find out…
EP 638: Coaching Session with Karen – How to Trust Again After Betrayal
Highlights of this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- Why she took her boyfriend back after breaking up
- Why she ended things in the first place
- Some red flags she ignored from the start (he was married twice and cheated both times, he left because his wife didn’t want to go on a sailing adventure, he lied about having herpes)
- She ignored the red flags because she was in a highly emotional state when she met him and needed the connection and attention
- He reminds her of her birth mother who gave birth at 21 and was married to someone who wasn’t her father and was in prison at the time, so she gave her up for adoption. The similarities between the two of them are the ability to leave her and putting her needs first.
- Both of her marriages ended because she ignored the red flags from the beginning.
- Homework I gave Karen:
- Ask a lot of questions upfront when you’re dating to assess if someone has your must haves and no deal breakers
- Don’t excuse the inexcusable
- Assess availability right away by asking the right questions
- Know that you can’t change people
- Open your preferences to date people who live further away so you have more options of English speaking men who share your language and culture
- Delay sex so you can think clearly when you’re dating
Watch this episode on YouTube
Have you ever felt betrayed by someone you dated? How did you learn to trust again? Please leave a comment and let me know!
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