Texting in early dating can be confusing. When to text? How much to text? Who texts first? Here’s your texting guide!
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Texting in early dating can be tricky. How do you navigate texting before, after, and between dates? Who should text first after a date? Can texting too much sabotage the potential for another date? Here are the dos and don’ts of texting in the first stages of dating so you can build trust and connection early on.
6 Tips for Texting in Early Dating to Build Trust and Connection
- Before meeting: Don’t text a lot. Get on a call to see if there’s a connection. And then set up a date and meet as soon as possible. Otherwise, you create a false sense of intimacy. Plus, you want to have some good stories to share on the first date. If you’d like them to send a quick confirmation text the morning of the date, ask them if they can do that. It will save you from anxiety on the day of the date.
- After the first date: If you’re interested in a second date, discuss it on the first date. “This was fun. I’d love to do it again sometime.” You can also text them after your date to thank them, and let them know you’d like to see them again.
- Setting up the second date: Don’t aimlessly text after the first date. Text to set up the second date and meet again as soon as possible to keep the momentum going. If they say they’d like to get together again, ask them, “I’m free on Wednesday after 6. What did you have in mind?”
- After you plan the second date: Don’t stay in contact all day. A few quick check-ins between dates is just right. As long as you have another date planned, stay busy with your life and don’t attach too quickly to this stranger.
- After a few dates: Discuss text expectations in early dating by talking about what type of communication you prefer between dates. If they take a long time to respond, you can say, “You’re not a big texter are you?” Discuss each of your texting habits as you get to know each other better. This will alleviate a lot of assumptions and anxiety in early dating.
- If their texts have slowed down or changed in tone: Talk about it in person or over the phone. You can say something like, “I’ve noticed a shift in energy from you lately. Are you okay?” or, “I’ve noticed a shift in energy from you lately. Did anything change on your end since our last date?” It might be scary to discuss this, but it’s so much less scary than living in the unknown.
If you communicate your wants and needs from the beginning of dating, you’ll soon see if you’re aligned with the other person. If their communication style is very different from yours, are you willing to accept that? Or is this a deal breaker for you?
If you’ve been dating someone for a while and the communication is great when you’re together, but they are not very responsive when you’re apart, it’s important to talk about it. You can start with, “I really love our connection when we spend time together. Can we talk about communication when we’re apart?” Tell them what works for you and why. Brainstorm ways to meet both of your communication needs, so you feel good when you’re together AND apart. If you establish these good communication skills early on, you’re more likely to have a good relationship moving forward.
Have you struggled with texting in early dating? Let me know in the comments.
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