Recent data suggest that although 83% of young adults are hoping to get married eventually, 73% also report that getting married is too expensive. Depending on the state, these financial worries about getting married are likely somewhat rooted in the average wedding in 2024 costing $33,000—and possibly much more.
The potential cost of a wedding is not made easier by young adults owing an average of $24,000 in student loan debt. Earning a collegiate education does tend to increase one’s income, but not as much as young adults might hope for. That is, young adults expect to earn about $85,000 annually in their first job out of college but are typically disappointed to earn a starting annual salary of around $56,000. These and other common financial worries for young adults are why about 80% of young adults report that money is a significant source of stress in their life.
Put simply, many young adults want to get married eventually, but financial factors, like not being able to pay for a ‘dream’ wedding, might inform a decision to delay marriage. In support of this idea, a national survey revealed that around 3 in 4 young adults agree that delaying marriage provides more time to get one’s personal finances in order. This evidence is coupled with other findings like 91% of young adults believe that financial independence is a necessary prerequisite to marriage.
While these beliefs about finances as they pertain to marriage readiness are common among young adults, scholars have not established whether these “financial barrier beliefs about marriage” might promote financial actions stemming from those beliefs. On the one hand, believing that a certain amount of money needs to be saved before marriage might lead to saving money to prepare for marriage. However, believing that a certain amount of money should be saved prior to marriage does not mean that actually saving a certain amount of money prior to marriage will happen.
In a recent study published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues, my colleagues and I examined whether financial barrier beliefs about marriage, such as believing that a certain amount of money should be saved before tying the knot, are associated with saving money over time. We used longitudinal data from 1,033 young adults from across the U.S. who were entering young adulthood to better understand their financial barrier beliefs about marriage and the degree to which these beliefs translated to actions.
Across the ages of 18–22, those in our sample increasingly agreed that finances were a barrier to getting married and that they needed to have a certain amount of money saved before doing so. However, as young adults agreed more with these financial barrier beliefs about marriage over this time period, their assets tended to decrease.
Put another way, as the young adults in our sample agreed more over time that they needed to have a certain amount of money saved before marriage, their assets were predicted to decrease over time. In these analyses, we accounted for young adults’ personal income, homeownership, and parental financial support—which increased our confidence in the results.
We interpreted this finding within the context of an increasing median age for marriage and literature about young adults’ financial management. The median marriage age in the U.S. is 28 for women and 30 for men. As such, those in our very young adult sample—even though they agreed that they needed to have a certain amount of money saved before marriage—might have been passive with their finances and not saved money because when they expect to get married might be several years away. Even though they agreed that they need a certain amount of money saved prior to marriage, the young adults in our sample also might have lived in the moment—financially speaking—rather than prioritizing saving money.
Based on these findings, my colleagues and I do not suggest that young adults should avoid prioritizing saving money prior to marriage. In fact, we would be the first to say that preparing for marriage, including with finances, is critical. However, these findings do suggest that simply believing that something money-related needs to happen before marriage (e.g., needing to save a certain amount of money prior to marriage) might not translate to reality (e.g., actually saving money) for young adults.
Beliefs about finances and marriage readiness might also be somewhat rooted in the high average cost for weddings, as discussed earlier. A predominant message related to weddings is that the more extravagant the wedding, the better the likelihood of success for the marriage. Spending more on an engagement ring and wedding, however, actually predicts a higher likelihood of divorce. Therefore, perhaps lowering expectations and requirements for the cost of a wedding may also be beneficial.
To answer the question posed in the title of this article, young adults might not need to have as much money saved prior to marriage as they, and others involved in their life, might think. Getting married to the right person—even without substantial financial resources—can provide a unique vehicle for couples to grow into financial stability together. Hopefully, these findings can help empower young adults to control their money rather than allowing their money to control them.
Matthew Saxey, a young adult himself, is a doctoral student in the Human Development & Family Science program at Auburn University. He researches how individuals and couples can be resilient with their finances.