What are the secrets to successful dating, especially in the early stages? Mastering these 5 communication skills!
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What’s the secret to successful dating, especially in the early stages? I believe it’s all about how you communicate about the important things. But when you’re just beginning to date, it can be confusing about what’s appropriate to bring up. You’re trying to get to know and understand each other, but what if they’re texting too little or too much? Is it needy or pushy to say anything? What if you’re unsure about what they’re looking for? How do you find out without coming across as too serious early on? You want to know how their last relationship ended, but when and how do you ask? That’s what I’m talking about in this video.
5 Secret to Successful Dating: Mastering Good Communication Skills
1. Knowing when and what to text
At the beginning stages of connecting with a stranger you’ve met on a dating app, communication relies on texting. Relationships can begin and end due to texting mistakes. That’s why I believe in these five texting principles:
1. Women make the first move in online dating. Don’t passively wait for men to find you. Find someone you like, and send the first message.
2. Keep messages interesting and open-ended. Instead of “Hi, nice to meet you”, mention something in their profile that caught your attention. Tell them why you related to that thing. Then ask a question, which increases the likelihood of them responding.
3. After two or three exchanges, ask if they’d like to continue the conversation by phone. If yes, proceed to the pre-date phone call and see if there’s a good enough connection for a date.
4. Before the first date, don’t send daily texts. They’re still a stranger to you, and you want to manage both of your expectations. At this point, texting is for logistics – where you’re meeting, confirming you’re still on, etc.
5. Once you’ve been on a successful first date, you can begin texting a little more often. But remember, texting is the worst way to get to know someone. Voice-to-voice and person-to-person are best. Clarify to your date about how you like to stay in touch between dates.
2. Expressing relationship goals
Many people are afraid to talk about what type of relationship they’re seeking on the first few dates. I believe this is a subject that should come up as early as possible. If you’re not on the same page about your relationship goals, it simply won’t work. Move on. And if they say they’re looking for the same thing as you, pay attention and make sure their actions and words align. Talk is cheap. Actions are everything.
3. Letting them know your self-care boundaries
I believe it’s never too early to express your boundaries around self-care. For example, if you don’t want your potential match to call you after ten pm, let them know what time they can call. If you exercise or meditate daily and they want to see you at a time that doesn’t work for you, let them know what works better. If you’re vegan and they want to take you out to a restaurant, let them know what your dietary restrictions are. If you don’t assert these self-care boundaries early on, you’ll be giving up what’s important to you, and that will lead to resentment. Take care of yourself.
4. Telling them about your pace in dating
When should you let someone you’re dating know how fast or slow you like to develop a relationship? What you need in place to have sex? When you have someone come to your home? I think these are all conversations to have early on. Someone will ask you on a first date that doesn’t feel safe to you, such as a hike. No matter the connection you feel, this is a stranger, and you need to stay safe. Express how you feel with a script that goes something like this, “That sounds like a great idea if we hit it off after meeting for coffee/ice cream/smoothie/drink. When would you like to get together for coffee?” Same goes for sex. Know what you need to feel safe. Exclusivity? Monogamy? STI testing results shared? Ask for what you want and need before you become hot and heavy.
5. Asking for clarity when confused
One of the biggest issues I’ve seen in early dating is making assumptions about what a person meant and not asking for clarity. You begin to make up stories and can even abruptly end things due to misunderstandings. To avoid this, I advise getting curious and asking what they meant. You’ll hear their thoughts vs your internal dialogue, which is often incorrect. Clarity also calms your nervous system, even if their answer isn’t what you were hoping for.
Successful dating requires good communication skills
Mastering good communication is essential for building a successful and fulfilling relationship. With these five expert tips, you can navigate the complexities of communication with confidence.
The next time you find yourself wondering how to text your crush or have a meaningful conversation with your date, remember these invaluable insights. By implementing these strategies, you’ll be well on your way to your last first date.
If you want to improve your communication skills further, I invite you to join my communications course. We dive deep into these topics and more. Learn more and join here https://lastfirstdate.com/commcourse
If you’re feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to finally find your match, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute love breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application
Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate
Get a copy of Sandy’s books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love and Choice Points in Dating; Empowering Women to Make Healthier Decisions in Love.
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