If you’re in a relationship and asking yourself, “Should I stay or should I go?”, this episode is for you!
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The age old question: should I stay or should I go. Well, you’re in luck, because my podcast guest, Sharon Pope, wrote the book on this subject! She’s a certified Master Life Coach and Relationship Expert helping people get the tools they need to improve, heal, or release their struggling marriages. She’s a seven-time international best-selling author on love and relationships, including Stay or Go: How to Find the Confidence & Clarity You Need to Either Fix the Struggles in Your Marriage or Move Forward without Regret, which has sold more than 300,000 copies. She is host of the podcast, “The Loving Truth,” and her work has appeared in numerous media outlets and online publications, including the “Modern Love” column of The New York Times.
In this episode of Last First Date Radio:
- The Five Words Killing Our Marriages Today
- How to Tell if Your Relationship Is Past Saving
- How to argue well
- Ways to Build Intimacy in Your Relationship
- Why Divorce Should Always Be an Option
EP 635: Sharon Pope – Should I Stay or Should I Go?
What are the five words that are killing marriages today?
“’Til death do us part”. When you’re married, there can be a big change as to how you treat your partner. Most people don’t continue dating and prioritizing relationships like they did before marriage. If you rest on your laurels and think you don’t have to nourish your relationship once you’re married, your marriage will probably fall apart.
How can you tell if your marriage or relationship is worth saving?
We’re taught love is easy. When it gets hard, that’s when your relationship begins. What makes it worthwhile are qualities like self awareness and personal responsibility for actions and words. Do you both have a growth mindset? Do you trust each other? How do you communicate? How well do you argue? Those are the qualities you should be looking at in your relationship.
How can people learn to argue well?
Begin with listening well. We can all get better at it. Use feeling words, and be willing to hear the other person. Get curious about what the other person would like from you. Own your triggers. Don’t make others responsible for tiptoeing around your triggers.
How can you build more intimacy in your relationship?
To create more intimacy in your relationship, you need trust and vulnerability. Be yourself and feel safe to do that. There should be a weekly meeting where you’re talking about your relationship. What’s working, what’s not, and where can we reach for a little more in our relationships. Make it a ritual. That’s a bond that you do together.
To create more spiciness, we need to tap into the part of ourselves that is desire – unpredictability and spontaneity. We need security/predictability and spontaneity to have a sexier relationship. Pay attention to that part of your relationship.
When asking yourself, “should I stay or should I go?”, why should divorce always be an option?
The goal is to be happy, but not picture perfect. If the relationship really isn’t working, there’s always the option to leave. There are going to be attributes in every partnership that are not loveable. And that’s okay. When one of you is no longer to take responsibility, it’s over.
What are your final words of advice for anyone who wants to go on their last first date?
The most important thing anyone can do is equip yourself with relationship tools. You can’t be successful at anything in life without training.
Connect with Sharon
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