How do you know if you’re in a situationship? And what do you do if you’re not happy and want more? Watch this video!
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Have you ever been in a situationship — a non-exclusive relationship that has no labels or definition? That person you sleep with when they’re in town for work, or your post-breakup rebound that you’ve been seeing weekly for several months, but you’re both still seeing other people?
A situationship can work if it’s a transitional phase as people get to know each other before they take a step into a deeper commitment. But what if it never moves forward and stagnates?
We often stay in these types of stuck relationships because we like hanging out and hooking up with these people. It feels good in the moment. Secretly, we might be hoping the relationship will grow into something more. If that’s the case, the anxiety and frustration can take a toll on your mental health. It’s almost impossible to stay emotionally unattached to someone we’re intimate with. And the ambiguity can consume your thoughts. That’s why I’m sharing five signs of a situationship, and what you can do if you find yourself in one.
5 Signs You’re in a Situationship
- You Haven’t Defined the Relationship. You’ve been seeing each other for three to six months, and neither of you have defined the relationship. If you’re hoping to turn your situationship into a real relationship, I suggest you initiate a conversation and define the relationship.
- There’s No Outside Indication that You’re a Couple. He hasn’t introduced you to his friends. You’ve never met his family. There’s no sign of you on his social media. He doesn’t call you his girlfriend to you or anyone else. That’s to be expected when you first start dating someone, but if you’ve been together for a while, this behavior becomes an indicator that you’re in a situationship.
- You Don’t Go on Real Dates. In a situationship, you might be spending a lot of time hanging out and hooking up but not going on actual dates. When someone you’re dating plans a date, it shows an interest and investment in you and the relationship. If the person you’re with goes out and does fun things with their friends but doesn’t take you out, you are not valued.
- You’re Not Integrated Into Their Life. As you become a couple, you go to each other’s favorite places together. You visit them at work and meet their colleagues. You go to each other’s favorite restaurant. You hang out with their friends. When you’re not integrated into their life in these ways, it’s a sign that things are not moving towards a deeper, more meaningful relationship.
- The Relationship is Stagnant. There are certain relationship milestones that you reach when relationships move forward. You go from weekly dates to seeing each other more than once a week to weekends together. You meet friends and family, share a holiday together, become exclusive, and eventually say your first “I love you.” When these don’t occur, you’re in a stagnant situationship that’s not going anywhere.
Conclusion
If you’re both looking for something casual, a situationship might work. But, it’s important that you’re both on the same page. If you’re feeling anxious or frustrated and you want a more serious commitment, it’s time to initiate a DTR (define the relationship) conversation. You won’t know where they stand until you state what you want and ask where they are. Clear, honest communication is the hallmark of a successful relationship. It’s also the best way to end a situationship that’s no longer meeting your needs.
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